Nature's Course
by pretentious-emo-kid
Summary: House loves Cuddy. She loves him back. But they're not compatible, are they? What if he got a grip? What if she was willing to take the risk? Oooh, the possibilities. Chapter six up! Reviews really welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Hope House isn't too ooc. I know in that in romance fics it tends to happen, so sorry if it's the case.

Oh, and I am updating soon. I know that the end of this chapter is a little annoying. :P

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing to do with House MD.

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"House, normal people, we have feelings that can't be turned on and off like a faucet. We cry, we shout, and, God damn it, _we're not always right_!"

House said nothing, but inwardly, he cursed the professionalism of his sarcastic grin; no longer in need of permission from his emotions, even now its ghost played on his lips. Even when his eyes were burning, and his throat was tight, and he wanted to yell, and cry, and smash himself repeatedly into a wall. Even when every part of him was screaming, "You love her, Greg. Yes, the iron heart does feel. Admit it!" Even then, he stood still, looking unconcerned. All he could do was stand silently, like a cocksure bastard. The same bastard he hated.

And all Cuddy could do was hope. She didn't have the energy left to lead him by the hand down this particular road of social interaction. Her tears were coming thick and fast, but she could still see his silhouette through the streams of mascara, and the wet, spiky eyelashes. She couldn't distinguish his face, and she didn't want to. She didn't want to see the façade of whatever emotion he was using to mask his thoughts. She didn't want to see the bemused frown, the scowl, or the dreaded lazy smile. She didn't want to have to strain to see a tiny glimpse of the man she loved. She was tired. She wanted him to the work for once.

Like vomit, House could feel the words coming, and like vomit, he couldn't stop them. He wanted to take her in her arms, and tell her it was okay. All couples fight, we'll get over it. But those were some one else's words. They would mean admitting that his life had been a sham for years. It would mean admitting that he needed her. He mentally kicked himself. He raged against his own nature, but it was all to no avail. He said a silent goodbye to the smell of hair, the feel of her lips, and the happiness she enveloped him in.

Cuddy couldn't believe his calm face when he said it. She squinted to see his eyes, but they too were blank.

"I guess I can't be normal then, as I manage to get through the day without throwing a tantrum equal to that of a constipated toddler…which reminds me; clinic duty. You know, the ravings of the hypochondriacs seem almost inviting right now."

And just like that, he walked out of her, desperately trying to forget that he'd just left the most wonderful woman in the world in tears, alone, and desperately trying to forget how it had all happenend…

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Reviews are the aim here, readers. :) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing

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A week earlier:**

Alcohol consumption is usually a bad idea. Work parties are always a bad idea, and the two mix together to for a cocktail that too many are familiar with; regrets and heartbreak.

Lisa Cuddy was a highly intelligent woman. She was level-headed, practical, and had a lot of good common sense. This did not stop her agreeing to a Christmas party for the staff. It also did not stop her sampling the alcohol, when she really should have stuck to water. It also didn't stop her sitting with House, and laughing at his jokes. It didn't stop her walking with him to the gloomy seclusion of her office, and it didn't stop her leaning in and kissing him. In fact, it was only his hand creeping up to her thigh that woke her up. She shrugged of the blanket of alcohol, work stress, and House smells, and pulled away. Standing up and smoothing her skirt, she hurriedly made her excuses and fled.

And now, Lisa Cuddy was sitting behind her desk, trying desperately not to look at House's lips, and calling all her intelligence and common sense up to try and solve the problem that she had created. She was trying to explain that it was the kind of tipsy mistake that people in her position shouldn't be making, but unfortunately did, but House was having none of it. He sat opposite her, enjoying the close proximity of their faces, and especially enjoying the blush it brought to her cheeks. He waited for her to finish.

"So basically, it was a mistake. I'm very sorry, and I think it would be best if it was kept…quiet."

House leaned back in his seat. "You're telling me that you feel no attraction towards me whatsoever, and yet you kissed me after two glasses of white wine, and a sip of my beer."

"You kept track of my drinks?!" asked Cuddy incredulously.

"Hey, we all have our faults. You are apparently a lightweight. I have stalker-like tendencies."

"House, that's a little more than creepy."

"Yeah, but I bet it turns you on."

"Get out! Go harass some more patients, anything!" Cuddy pointed at her door, and would not move or utter another word, until House sauntered happily out of her office. She sat at her desk, disgusted, and yet, wondering why her lips were curving into the unmistakable shape of an amused smile.

House smirked in a very self-satisfied way, as he limped to his office. However, after a few moments, he changed direction, and headed towards Wilson. It was time for a little gloating.

HMD HMD HMD HMD

"What's her name, then?" Wilson sighed as House approached. His friend was wearing an unmistakable look on his face. A look that said, _"I've talked some poor woman into doing something she'll no doubt come to regret, and I'm proud of it." _

House's smile smug grin became even more pronounced. "I don't know what you mean."

"Right, so there isn't some innocent young nurse wandering around, wondering why you haven't returned her calls?"

"I wouldn't use the word 'innocent'."

"Oh God, it was Cameron wasn't it?"

House shrugged his shoulder and sauntered off.

HMD HMD HMD HMD

Cuddy pushed aside the paperwork she had been putting very little effort into anyway. She was starting to develop a stress headache, and she had too many thoughts battling for her attention. The worst thing was that very few of these thoughts were work related. In fact, a most of them were distinctly House related. Why had she kissed him? Why had he kissed her back? _Why_ did she care so much? She looked briefly around the room as though checking that there was no one around to hear her thoughts, and once satisfied, decided to be completely honest with herself. She'd kissed him because she'd wanted to. After all these years of knowing him, he still intrigued her; she thought he was the most interesting person she'd ever met. She cared because, well, she cared. She cared what happened to him. She cared that he was on a path of mental self-destruction. She cared about him. She…loved him. She took a deep breath when that thought was put into words. She tried it out loud; quietly, but just loud enough for her to hear what it sounded like. "I love him."

If a phrase that comes out of your own mouth can sound simultaneously alien, and at the same time, as though it was the most sensible thing you'd ever said, this was it. She took another breath, and stood up. She still had one question left without an answer.

HMD HMD HMD

House had been studying the handle of his cane, carefully ignoring his own, not yet recognised thoughts, when he'd heard the knock at the door. His first though was that it had to be some one from work. After a few seconds of pondering, he reasoned that it was probably Wilson, looking for a little conformation from House, as to what had happened. He was deliberating whether or not to answer it, when he heard Cuddy's impatient voice from the other side of the door.

"I know you're in there, House!"

House was not a man very often surprised, but sometimes it could still happen. He quickly shook off the observation that it was usually Cuddy that could leave him flummoxed, and made his way to the door.

Cuddy was a woman on a mission, and like all other women on a mission, she was rude, and straight to the point. This was also partly due to the rain that had been falling as she waited outside the door. She barged her way past House and stormed into his living room. She then whirled round, and asked very loudly,

"Why did _you_ kiss me back?"

"Good evening to you too."

"Don't play dumb with me, Gregory House! You are fully aware that during our little…talk this morning you manipulated me so that I forgot the fact that a kiss requires two participating people! So why?"

House hesitated only long enough to dismiss the notion of telling her the truth that he hadn't even told himself yet. "I'd be mad not to. You're the hottest woman in that hospital."

Cuddy knew at that very moment that she did not look hot. She had been working longer than necessary, and had been rained on that evening. She also knew that if what he had just said was true, she had nothing to lose. So she kissed him again. It was different to the last time, but in the midst of her pleasure at being in his arms again, she realised that he was most definitely kissing her back.

House was disappointed when she pulled away. He barely heard as she whispered in his ear, "I won't judge you if you tell me you have feelings, House. To be honest, I've suspected it all along."

His only answer was to pull her back into the kiss he'd been enjoying so much.

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I'm not entirely sure where I'm going after this, so suggestions would be really useful. 


	3. Chapter 3

This is NOT the last chapter, don't worry for you true huddy-ers out there.

Disclaimer: Wow, readers of my other stuff will know how much I hate writing these. I own nothing to do with House MD.

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And so it began. Though they never really discussed the matter, they had a kind of silent agreement that it shouldn't be made public knowledge. Not that there were many gory details anyway. The need for secrecy and hectic schedules meant that their meetings were fleeting, and had to be held in elevators and the like. There fleeting kisses could never take place in their convenient, but goldfish bowl-like offices. All in all, it was the kind of secrecy that, depending on your mood, was either exciting or tiresome.

One of these meeting occurred a few days after their first entirely sober kiss. A refreshingly relaxed Cuddy had sneaked, very carefully into the men's loos – they had reasoned that it was a better than trying to smuggle him into the ladies'. Currently, they were up against the wall farthest from the door, and for the moment, Cuddy was leaving it up to House to keep an eye on the door. On this particular day, she was enjoying the exploration of his neck with her mouth, and he was only to happy to allow her to become more acquainted with it, while he traced the elegant curls of her hair with his fingers. Soon however, she grew bored with his neck, and her tongue began to creep up his cheek and up to his ear. In fact, she was just biting down gently on his earlobe when he pulled swiftly away, and pushed her into the cubicle they were stood beside.

HMD HMD HMD

House waited as the doctor left the toilets, and then went to let Cuddy out of the cubicle. He was surprised to find her chuckling softly. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on House. I have to laugh, or else I'd go mad. I interviewed that man three weeks ago. I had to give him the talk about where we stand on certain behaviour between members of staff, and he very nearly walked in on me kissing you, and _then _I heard him pee."

"Yeah, well I'd love to join in with your giggling, but _I _have patients to be seeing to."

He left. Cuddy spent the next few seconds smiling at the absurdity of the situation, and her own strange reaction to it. It was the best thing about all of it; the sublime recklessness it had submerged her in. She was feeling relaxed for the first time in months. However, there was one thing bothering her. She still hadn't coaxed any kind of real answer from House as to why he had kissed her back. It was a question that worried at night, and his answer at the time still echoed around her head during the quieter moments of the day. She realised that unless she did confront him about it, there was a chance it could all fizzle out, and she didn't want that to happen with the man she was fairly sure she'd fallen in love with.

HMD HMD HMD

He saw her coming before she arrived. It was the one advantage that he could spot with the glass offices; as long as a visitor was not observant, you had time to hide before they knocked. However, this was one visitor that House was very glad to see. He was ashamed at himself for looking forward to their meetings, but he had decided not to let it worry him. He didn't miss their arguments half as much as he had thought he would either. They had been replaced with an even more interesting pastime.

She entered without knocking.

"Can I have a word, House?"

"If it's about that incident with the patent this morning, I think you'll find I was fully within my legal rights."

"No, it's about…us."

Not a word House had been looking forward to. She wanted sincerity. He was in trouble.

Cuddy took his silence as a sign to continue.

"I grew out of flings years ago, so I guess what I want to know is: is this an adult relationship, or should I just think of it as four days of very effective stress relief, and leave it at that?"

House realised that the day had finally come; the day when he didn't want to be a bastard any more. Somehow, something that had begun as fun had intertwined itself into the parts of him that cared. The same could be said about his personality, really. Sometimes, it was only his regrets that convinced him that he still had feelings at all.

Cuddy was still silent, patiently waiting for an answer. He knew what she wanted him to say, and part of him wanted to say it, but he couldn't think of a way to start anything that wouldn't eventually destroy her.

So he lied.

"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing? And please remember that I'm available for my stress relieving services any time."

She couldn't really reply to that.

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Reviews would be great. :) 


	4. Chapter 4

I know it's very short, but I feel it's needed.

Disclaimer: The usual; own nothing.

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What do you do when the person you love breaks your heart?

You get over it.

Or pretend to.

You act normal when you see them. You are professional around them, and you pray that nobody can tell that you want to cry.

And, sometimes you console yourself by counting the heavy, blunt objects in your office.

It, doesn't work though, does it.

You still end up crying alone.

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As ever, reviews welcome. 


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, sorry this chapter took so long. Due to request, it's longer than previous chapters.

Disclaimer: The usual. Own nothing. Don't sue.

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Cameron's patience was wearing thin. It was not something that happened very often, but in the last three days, that had started to change. That was because House, who had always required every ounce of her saint-like patience, was now acting in an even more unbearable manner than usual. She was not sure why. Initially, she had presumed that his leg was to blame, but she had noticed that whenever he came back from Cuddy's office, his mood was even fouler than before. Currently, he was standing by his whiteboard, scowling, and disregarding every suggestion made by his team, his tone even ruder than usual.

And as Cameron felt her patience finally fail and die, she said a silent prayer to any particular deity that might save her from the wrath of House, and opened her mouth.

"Right, that's it. You have crossed the line now! You're being rude, obnoxious, and unfair! Go and sort it out now…before it affects the case."

Cameron held her breath. Now that the words had left her mouth, she regretted them. House was renowned for his cutting comebacks, and she was not looking forward to whatever he was about to say. There was a moment of apprehensive silence before, to the surprise of everyone in the room, House's face relaxed into one of his more civil facial expressions.

"I won't be long. Run the tests we just discussed, and try to cope on your own for a while."

And with that, he left the room.

"What was that all about then?" asked Chase, looking as confused as the others felt.

HMD HMD HMD

Cuddy sat, cradling her face in her hands, feeling rebellious tears seep slowly and rhythmically through her fingers. She had told herself that she was fully prepared to be turned away by House, but the truth was, she had not been prepared at all. She had always had too much faith in the good side of House's nature, and time after time, she had been disappointed. Yet, she had fully believed that he had grown up; that he was, well, embarrassingly enough…_the one_. She had believed that they would finally be able to have a relationship. But, in that effortless way, exclusive to him, he had broken her heart.

There was a knock at the door. She hurriedly wiped away her tears, and said a hoarse, "Come in."

God, it was House. The lump in her throat doubled in size. She wondered why he had bothered knocking. She hoped he couldn't tell that she had been crying.

He could. He was shocked at her sadness. He had naively presumed that she would get over him very quickly, and after a quick cry and a couple of glasses of wine, she'd be ready to sweep the whole thing under the mat, and happily carry on with life. Still, she had always been the one person he had trouble reading.

"What do you want, House?" The words came out with more of a bite to them than she had intended. She watched as he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I wanted to talk to you about our little predicament."

_Little predicament? _Had she heard him right? He had just referred to what she was feeling now as a 'little predicament'!

"Do you care to elaborate?" She struggled to keep her voice from shaking. The sadness she had been wallowing in was swiftly being replaced by hot, fiery anger.

"Well, it's clear that we can't carry on working in these conditions. I'm having trouble concentrating, and your work is clearly being affected."

This did nothing to pacify Cuddy's anger. Quite the opposite, in fact. She had been careful to make sure that her professionalism had not been compromised. Her tears had been private and dignified, her business had remained her own, and House had no right to tell her otherwise.

House saw her eyes harden, and her body stiffen. He was trying to be polite, but he was out of practice, his skills rusty and forgotten. He was angry at himself, and at Cuddy. He had sacrificed her for her own good. She was beautiful, intelligent and funny. She would have had absolutely no difficulty finding a soppy guy who would love her, treat her the way she deserved, marry her, grow old with her, but no. She was obstinate; her passionate streak fighting all common sense. She wanted him.

And he wanted her. And how hard would it be to admit it? Sure, there would be a few weeks of people taking advantage of his good mood, but he would soon stop that. So he might hurt Cuddy, but she might hurt him. She would cope. He opened his mouth, and prepared to surrender to happiness.

But Cuddy did not want to hear whatever it was he had to say.

"Well, I'm very sorry that you feel that way, but I'm afraid I can't do anything about it. House, normal people, we have feelings that can't be turned on and off like a faucet. We cry, we shout, and, God damn it, _we're not always right_!" She was shouting loud enough to be heard by people passing by her office, but she didn't care. All she wanted now was to know that he was hurting, like she was. He had admitted himself that he was having concentrating. Clearly his opinion of their relationship wasn't as casual as he had implied. She wanted him to love her.

Of course, what he said next wasn't quite what she had expected.

HMD HMD HMD

So, one way or another, it had all gone wrong, and now House was sat in his office, his head hanging, and his shoulders even more slumped than usual. His mind was swimming with thoughts that were clamouring to be acknowledged and that he was desperate to ignore. He was sorely tempted to wander to the nearest bar and consume a large amount of blissfully numbing alcohol, but something told him that it would probably bring up more problems than it would solve.

In the end, he decided to wander home and attempt to censor his thoughts for all mentions of the fact he had once again fallen in love, and entirely through his own fault, screwed it up.

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As per usual, I live for reviews. 


	6. Chapter 6

LAST CHAPTER

Ooh, I always get emotional at the end of stories. I kind of feel like I know the characters, though I can't guarantee I'd like House!

Oh, and thanks to Mr Vanderkamp and BookwormKiwi and all my other wonderful reviwers - I'd have abandoned this by now otherwise.

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Having your heart broken hurts like hell. In fact, one of the only things in the world that hurts more is having it broken all over again. It's crippling. No more pretence, no more brave face. You curl up and cry and cry, and when you have no tears left anymore you fall into those horrible dry sobs that make your whole body shudder and the surface of your throat burn and scrape, and you want nothing more than to be sedated for the remainder of your life, because that way you can forget how much it hurts.

Lisa Cuddy was learning each of these things swiftly and painfully. She was grateful that she had a day off, and she could lie in her bed through each phase instead of sobbing over her paperwork, or worse, the patients. For the first time in her life, she was entirely sure that she was in love with House, because how else could she be so upset? It was a shame that she couldn't somehow see inside House's head, because it would have in a ever so slightly vindictive way, it would have cheered her up no end. For the first time in a very long while, House was being honest with himself.

HMD HMD HMD HMD

House was no stranger to pain, but there's no medication that can be taken to ease the pain of trawling over all the mistakes in the last week, all of them your own, and what each of them had lost you. He had narrowed it down to the following list:

Kissing her when she was drunk (or, sort of) – he should have done it properly. Asked her out on a date, and romanced her. It would have meant a lot to her.

Not telling her he loved her the next day. Because he did, he really did.

Then not telling her that he loved her when she asked about their relationship.

And yet again, not telling her that he loved her when they had argued in her office.

If at any of these moments, he had behaved differently, he could right now be sat with his arms around her, contently stroking her hair, allowing himself a brief smile perhaps. Instead he was sat in his office, scowling and attempting to throttle his cane.

A lot of people do not have the luxury of realising their mistakes. Those who do, usually have the sense to try and remedy them. House, on the other hand, had intelligence on his side, but not always sense.

HMD HMD HMD HMD

Books took too much energy to read. The mundane chattering of the TV grated on her tearful headache. Magazines slid from her fingers, unread. In fact, only two things stood before her as options: a bottle of red wine, and a big bar of chocolate. Remembering what had happened last time she drank wine, Cuddy reached for the chocolate.

HMD HMD HMD HMD

House rested his head on his desk, and sighed deeply. He was an expert at passing up love. He had turned down Stacy, and now he was pushing away Cuddy. It was almost cliché in a way. The woman he had known for years, who had been there through thick and thin, steady and reliable. Except in the movies, the guy had enough guts to get the girl.

Maybe movies occasionally had lessons to be learned from them.

HMD HMD HMD HMD

Cuddy actually groaned aloud when the doorbell rang. She was curled up on the sofa using her finger to dab up the last vestiges of chocolate from the wrapper. She wanted nothing more than to ignore whoever was knocking at the door, or alternatively, shout at them to leave her alone and go get hurt by someone, but at that moment she heard a voice calling through the door. "I know you're in there, Lisa!"

HMD HMD HMD HMD

Even when he was trying to win the woman he loved House was calculating. He realised that the use of her first name would make her more open to him. He knew that she'd be touched that he'd bothered to come over, and the symmetry with the incident with their second kiss would appeal to her romantic side. He was also not incredibly surprised when the door swung open to reveal an incredibly pissed off looking Cuddy clothed in a dressing gown.

"How dare you?" Her eyes were flashing with anger, and her face was pale and tear stained. The sight caused a feeling in House that he was not used to. He felt guilty. He had toyed with her and caused this, and now it was time to sort it out.

"Look, I know that I'm the last person in the world that you want to see right now, but I need to talk to you."

She let out a short, sharp, incredulous laugh. "Is this another chance to pour out my feelings to you in a vain attempt to get you to be anything but an asshole, and then have you throw it all back in my face with yet another oh-so-witty remark?"

House shook his head. "No. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to hear me talk honest sense."

She paused, taken aback by his sincerity. She was not altogether sure how to deal with this different side of House, but she had to admit that right now it seemed far more appealing than his other side.

"Go on then."

"I'm presuming you're not going to let me in to do it."

"You presume right."

House hesitated, a part of him still deeply questioning what he was about to do. "I…love you. I'm sorry I've messed you around. I would really like to try and have an adult relationship with you, but I need you to understand that I would probably end up hurting you eventually."

Cuddy sighed, and when she spoke, her voice was a little quieter. "You don't call this hurt? I don't want to worry about what _might _happen. I want to enjoy myself with the man I love. I want to be adored, just like any other woman. I don't want to constantly have to be on guard, making sure I don't get too close and scare you off."

House stepped a little closer towards her, feeling as though he were watching himself from a distance. "Then I'll try and give you it all."

Cuddy's legs were threatening to buckle underneath her. Part of her was wondering whether she had entered some kind of chocolate induced hallucination, and another part was wondering whether or not to tell him it was too late and slam the door in his face.

In the end, she listened to the part that told her to kiss him back.

It was not like any of their previous kisses. This was a kiss with genuine affection, and trust behind it. This was the kind of kiss where Cuddy wasn't too worried to snake her arms around his neck, and whisper softly in his ear, "I love you."

It was the kind of kiss where House forgot himself and whispered in hers, "I love you too."

And it was the kind of kiss where they both forgot that they were stood outside her door, whilst she was wearing her dressing gown, until the wolf-whistling teenagers walked past.

They pulled apart, a faint blush in Cuddy's cheeks.

"So," started House, "Are you going to invite me in?"

She simply smiled and pulled him in by the hand.

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I may have finished, but reviews still make me happy. :) 


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